Wavy Hair and Coleman Ranahan

Last year I made resolutions, realistic resolutions, and I actually completed 80% of them, which was nice. This year feels different, to which the smart-ass reply would be, well duh!

For some reason this year I didn’t feel like writing out resolutions. I didn’t want to be angry about it, I didn’t want to whine. And I think the reason it has to do with that is that this years goal’s are much more ambitious than last year. I don’t know if that makes me weak, or if I’m just trying to keep my footing underneath me so that I don’t buckle from the weight of my second to last semester in school. Add along the expectation of hopefully creating a fantastic short film to showcase for people after I graduate, and I feel like I’m juggling everything at once.

I want this film to be good, and I feel it has something to say. I see the films I made previously and it makes me gag how awful they are, how directionless they are, in terms of writing, and directing. I see this as hopefully the next step to making something that actually reflects what I am capable of, because I don’t want to be held to the standard of those first two shorts. And I want to make sure that I can balance this and school at the same time.

I have high goals, and I don’t want to stop until I achieve them. But the occasional question of “Are you too ambitious?” comes to mind every so often when I’m getting frustrated about the development of something. I hope I can use that to refine what I’m doing but to keep going. Only time will tell, and luckily I’m incredibly impatient. I’m doing everything I can to take in all the stories of how filmmakers first started before they became part of something, and it’s helping my writing. I hope it helps my career too. Bring it on, craziness.